News on the Weakly News™

The news isn’t getting any better is it? Time to have a closer look. I must apologize first though. I do get a bit worked up today. So please excuse the anger. But some of this stuff just isn’t funny anymore. Don’t worry though, some of it is still pretty funny. Hey remember, no news is good news. So some news is slightly crap news. I’ll start with the crap news first.

Same old, same old...

1. Mr McCain, act your age – or maybe not

It’s becoming a bit tedious. Every week I tell myself that I will leave McCane alone. His an old man after all. And I am not being nice. My mom won’t be impressed. You know, she always said I should show respect to old people. And I really want to. But then he does it again. Or maybe I should say, “Oops he did it again”. Yes, McCane has scrapped right through the bottom of the barrel and is now digging up old cat crap from the garden soil below. He is reaching a new low. Even for a Republican. Okay, maybe I am wrong. You can’t really reach a new low as a Republican. Or at least not this type of Republican. They boldly go where no one has gone before. Anyway, let’s get back to the Mac. McCane decided to take Obama on by focusing on the issues. Not. No, he decided to tell us nothing of his own policies or why he might be a good President and instead compared Obama to Britney and then said Obama is playing the race card. Sigh. (I wish my wife would allow me to swear in my blog. McCain deserves one.) Come now Mista McCane, what the hell do you stand for apart from anything anti-Obama? The USA actually needs someone to stand for something and not just against everything. Look what happened the last time you picked a President that stood for nothing but anti-everything. You are living in that world right now. Who are you McCane? Who are you when you look in the mirror apart from an angry old man with no life or policies? If Obama is Britney, are you the wino old hag who hangs around Britney trying to catch a bit of her “shine”? Get a life of your own please. And saying Obama is playing the race card… Have you actually been on the “internets” as your buddy calls it? Have you seen and heard the things people are saying of Obama? Have you not heard how that stupid blond woman called Ann Coulter play “funny” with Obama’s names? Have you seen the original racist comments that Rooster99 left on this blog? Obama playing the race card… Bah! Wake up and smell the roses. Grow up and act your age. No wait. Please don’t. We don’t need another President asleep behind the wheel. I guess the next thing you should start bitching about is that Obama is playing the intelligence card and walking the leadership path. That is so unfair hey? Ek is gatvol van MyPyn se wyn.

2. UK decides not to prosecute corruption

Imagine if this happened in South Africa. Or anywhere in Africa… The anti-fraud agency starts to investigate allegation that the largest national arms manufacturer and dealer offered bribes to a potential buyer. A bribe to get the buyer to buy some weapons. Maybe even a few weapons of mass destruction? And the buyer? A Middle Eastern buyer. With a really bad human rights record. And then the agency drops the investigation. Why? Because the buyer blackmailed the investigators by saying that they won’t give any anti-terrorism support or intelligence info in the fight against terrorism. What would you expect the agency and your government to do? Don’t answer – let’s first look at what the UK did. The UK government actually supported the investigators decision not to probe a bit deeper into the bribery case. Even though they already had good evidence. And they are so happy the agency dropped the case. The reason? National security. Bull. Let any African government do this and guess what – everyone will be all over them and throw their toys. They will talk about the corruption by African governments. And say it is just “the way these Africans are”. Well, stuff you. Go put it where the sun don’t shine. You Mr Brown and gang, the bribes are on your hands and for the whole world to see. The blood of those who die because of these weapons? One your hands. National security? Guess what. Did you know that Osama bin Laden comes from that country involved in this corrupt arms deal, terrorism threat and blackmail case? To the UK – you just lost your right to bitch about corruption anywhere else in the world. Especially in Africa. Go clean your own house first.

Oh, in a new development… This same UK arms manufacturer (BAE) was just caught in another case. One that involves their links to a Zimbabwean arms trader. A Zimbabwean arms dealer with strong ties to Robert Mugabe. Sweeping that one under the carpet as well now shall we? What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Right? No reason to investigate this one if you didn’t want to look at the Saudi one. “Nothing to see here folks. Please move on.” Spineless bigots. Murdering bastards. What a pair they make. The UK and Zimbabwe caught necking behind the barn. Brown and Mugabe seen doing some heavy petting in the hay. Blood on your hands you stupid gutless Pom.

3. UK crime levels fall

I know I joked about it in my Next Week’s News Today II, but it is actually true. Crime rates are falling in the UK. It has done so by 10% over the last year. I stand by my original assessment that the economic crunch is behind it all. There is just nothing to steal anymore. I just wonder if the nanny state UK government will provide the criminals with some economic “stimulant” package as well. I mean really. It’s bad if the mob can’t even squeeze anything out of the dry UK well anymore. See? Crime doesn’t pay. Not now. At least they will have the dole to fall back on.

4. Scientific proof that Conservatives are sick

A new study from the University of New Mexico (Albuquerque!) has just linked religion with diseases. Basically, the study “proves” that there is a link between the number of religions and the “control” of diseases. Apparently, society organizes itself in religious groups to limit the spread infectious diseases and other health risks. That’s a bit of a bummer. It makes the US a pretty sick society. I mean really, the Christian churches over here are worse than Trotskyists – they split into two separate groups every time two Christian conservatives/evangelicals get together in a room. Aah, now I get the whole anti-science thing amongst some of the more fundamentalist Christian groups in the US. You see, some science actually focus on healing people. Get rid of diseases. So the basic fibre of religion will fall apart. The healthier we are the more secular we will become. I hope Hagee and Bush don’t read this. Or maybe they knew about this all along. You know – denying evolution and denying global warming. Very Christian of them.

5. China and US sync laptops

China. What can I say. Loved it over there. Just don’t take your laptop with when you go and visit. They don’t like free information that much. Like to control it a bit. Can’t get access to all the sites on the internet. Including this one. (Wonder if they lifted the “ban” on this one when they relaxed their control a bit this week?) Anyway. They like control. And they have a bit of a habit of taking laptops at airports. You know – to check for “information”. And good luck if you can get it back. They go a bit further though. They check what you do and download your information, contacts and everything they can get their hands on. It helps that they control the networks you have to use. They are checking for anything that can “threaten” China. I call it no freedom and control freaks. So no surprise that American politicians are a bit unhappy about that. America is build on the foundations of freedom. Free expression and information are the cornerstones of this great country. I was even happier to see that it was a Republican being pissed at the Chinese for doing this. Senator Sam Brownback from Kansas was really pissed at the Chinese and their attempts to get every single piece of information they could get their hands on. Good on you Senator Brownback. Freedom of expression and information should always be protected. It’s the American way. But… Hang on a minute… What do we have here? It can’t be. The US doing the same? Yes! You see, first it was invasion of privacy with the “Patriot” Act. Like the Chinese, they will track your info like a true Chinese autocrat. And now it seems they are taking another leaf from the little red Chinese book of control. They are ready to take your laptop at the airport. And do pretty much what ever the hell they want to do with it. And they go a step further. They’ll take your iPod as well. Not to control your music as if it is some 50’s rock ‘n roll clampdown. No, just to check what info you have on there. (I would be so embarrassed by my playlist.) So there you go. Information control. China and the US dancing to the same tune. And I bet it ain’t to the Beatles or the Rolling Stones. Closer to the Grateful Dead I guess. George W Bush and Hu Jintao, both President and Commander in Chief of the two most powerful nations in the world, dancing the slow dance of control. It’ll make Mao so proud. He didn’t even have to invade the US for the Red Revolution to take over. First they took over the economy and now exported they own special brand of information control and freedom suppression. Tangle or tango anyone. Any wise words of wisdom now Senator Brownback?

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That’s it folks. More pissed than usual. But can’t help it – they keep on feeding me crap.

 

Heating up – time to worry?

Look, we are either going to fry or not. This Global Warming thing is just not going away. I don’t know all the science behind it. I get it that there is some controversy. Some saying that it will heat up and others saying either it won’t or nothing we can do about it or hey, wouldn’t it be nice if we all lived in Florida?

I am a social scientist. We don’t believe in strict rules. We like the scientist bit, but know that when we throw the social bit in then it kinda stuff up the science claims. Us social scientists like to think we do real research. But we know we really don’t. But we have opinions. And you’ve come to the right place if you want one… Why is this relevant? Not much – just that I am so not going to try and prove Global Warming. Just not part of my science – sorry. But as a social scientist I did learn that I should take whatever Bush says and go with the other side. He thinks Global Warming is just summer coming early? Cool – I’ll go with the bigger group saying we’re gonna fry.

My biggest reason for going with the guys getting hot about it getting hot? I am just going to play it safe with this one. I don’t want to be Condi Rice who saw the memo but decided that there wasn’t really a threat. No thank you. See where that got us? I am going to play it safe and go with the people who are freaky enough to try and stop Global Warming. So what if it doesn’t really exist – saving the planet from something that won’t happen isn’t that bad. Better than going to war for something that wasn’t there either hey? Consequences a bit better with this one I think.

This feels a bit like the engine light is going wild trying to tell me that I should check out the oil and water. You know you can still drive a little bit further. But at some stage you are going to do permanent damage to that engine. You can ignore it. But at some stage this baby is gonna blow. I don’t like cars that much, but can always buy another one if I really have to. But that’s the bloody problem with this earth of ours. We only have one. I am not brave enough to play chicken with this little sphere of ours. Sorry. Those guys with the big SUV’s have bigger balls than me. They play chicken with trains – I don’t. I know what happens when I hit that train. I lose. I also don’t eat food past the expiry date.

Some guys are working on a few solutions though. The “what if” scenario. One that caught my attention is the polar cities one by Danny Bloom. His solution is that we should build a few cities around the shores of the new ice-free Arctic Ocean. Oh, he hopes we don’t have to – that we might somehow stop this train from hitting our car. We better get off the track then I guess. Danny (some relation to Danny, Champion of the World?) doesn’t claim to be much of a science expert either. Hey, he is a journalist and we know how they spin stories… But he has been using his gift of words and friendship with an artists to create a really good visual of what the cities might look like. It’s his contribution to get the world thinking about tomorrow. He’s not saying it would work. But he is saying that we should start thinking about the consequences. The consequences goes beyond Denver having beachfront properties…

I have my doubts whether these cities would work. It’s a fine idea. It has some really good build-in benefits. For one, you won’t need the air-conditioner for the first few years. The ice might be gone, but it will still be pretty cold up there. But people don’t want to leave their countries of birth. And who owns the Arctic in any case? Canada is already playing chicken with the Russians. And sorry, I just can’t see the Canadians winning – not even in an ice-free ice hockey game. I mean really, the French and English standing together for a minute? Not gonna happen in my lifetime.

I have another problem as well. You can’t let the dog out at all. Not with those polar bears waiting to be fed. And little Fifi is just the kind of pre-meal snack they need to fill the gap. And how am I going to live in a city where the Jones’s have the same cubicle as me? Just can’t do it. And where do I park my Hummer? Do you get good reception there? Sorry Danny, it’s the little things that counts. I want cable, dishwasher and a mall. Gotta get it sorted.

But Danny… Count me in. I’ll join you. I guess I can live without cable if it means surviving for another few years and giving the kids a safer place to live in. And, in any case, I see the walls of your design is made of glass – see through. Cool. Who needs cable when I have a reality show right on the big screen of my wall. And no, I am not talking about the neighbors (TMI)… I can see the sun boiling water outside… Time for a cuppa tea I guess…

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